


don't hang up, okay? (i'm on my way)

by strawberryfinn



Category: One Direction (Band), X Factor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dialogue-Only, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfinn/pseuds/strawberryfinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam takes a lot of calls, but he’ll remember this one most of all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't hang up, okay? (i'm on my way)

 

“H-Hi?”

“Hi there. My name’s Liam, what’s your name?”

“I’m Z-Zayn.”

“Hey, Zayn, what can I help you with? What’s going on?”

“I… Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Zayn, I’m here to help, okay? Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“I… I just want it to end.”

“Want what to end, Zayn? Come on, it’s okay. Stay with me. I’m here to listen.”

“I… I just miss him. I miss him so fucking much.”

“Who do you miss, Zayn? What’s going on? Stay with me.”

“My boyfriend… Niall.”

“Where’s Niall, Zayn? Is everything okay?”

“He’s dead.”

“…Oh God. I’m so… sorry to hear that, Zayn.”

“He shouldn’t be dead, it should be me instead.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… just fuck. I should have gone with him.”

“What do you mean, Zayn? I don’t understand-“

“It was so dark that night—it was raining. All he wanted was some ice cream, and _fuck,_ Liam, I was so tired and I didn’t want to go. So my friend Harry decided to go with him to the gas station to get some ice cream and I just…”

“Zayn, calm down, okay, you need to breathe.”

“…the guy robbing the store _knifed_ him, Liam! He was robbing the store and Niall tried to stop him and he stabbed him, and Harry was there watching him bleed out on the floor of the gas station and I was fucking home doing nothing, and when I finally got to the hospital, they found a box of fags in his pocket—that he’d picked up for _me_ and I just fuck-”

“Zayn, listen to me. This was not your fault. I know sometimes things happen that you can’t understand, but I promise you, this was not your fault. This has never been your fault, this will never be your fault. This wasn’t Harry’s fault, this wasn’t Niall’s fault, it wasn’t yours-”

“If I had been there, goddamit, if I had just gone with him, I could have protected him-”

“Or you could have ended up dead too, Zayn. This isn’t your fault-”

“All he wanted was some fucking ice cream and I couldn’t even get that for him, Liam. I just… I just wish he knew how much I loved him-”

“I’m sure he did, Zayn, you need to calm down. You need to breathe, okay? Slow and steady, come on-”

“I miss him so much, Liam. I m-miss him so much everyday. I miss the way my stomach flipped when I saw him smile, I miss his stupid infectious laugh, I miss the way his eyes went straight to me whenever he came in my room, I miss just lying around our flat doing fucking nothing in our underwear and sitting and cuddling in our sheets and talking about our future. I just miss all of it. I miss those stupid supras he wore and his obsession with food and I just… I just miss him so much, and I don’t know what I’m doing here, Liam. Harry dropped this number off in case and told me to call it in case I’m thinking of doing anything stupid, and Liam, I think I might do it tonight-”

“Zayn, calm down, okay? You don’t want to do anything drastic-”

“-Liam, I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Zayn, calm down, this isn’t what Niall would want for you.”

“Liam, you sound like a nice bloke… but you don’t know what Ni would want.”

“Niall loved you, okay, Zayn? He wouldn’t want you to give up-”

“He also wouldn’t want me to be alone.”

“Zayn, don’t hang up okay? I’m sending help right now—where are you?”

“I’m sorry, Liam, thank… thank you for talking to me. I’m going to a better place soon. Niall, babes, I’m coming.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Casey. I worked at a suicide hotline in high school. It’s funny how of all the calls you take, the ones you remember most are the ones you lose. RIP, beautiful
> 
> This story is kind of personal. I'd love to hear what you think. x


End file.
